Hero & Heroine

An Old Story

As the world evolves and the hero and heroine take on new meaning in an ever unfolding new mythology, I find it particularly fun to look back at a time when the male function was to act and the female’s function was just to be, caring for others and protecting hearth and home. Back in the sixties and seventies, when I studied history and mythology in college the notion that men equal social order and females equal the natural order were established mythic concepts. According to Gerda Lerner in her book The Creation of Patriarchy “the establishment of patriarchy as a historical process…developed from 3100 B.C. to 600 B.C. in the Near East.” The remnants of paternalism remain strong but as we know, this 4000-year-old system is crumbling and it will likely vanish in the next millennia with the advances in technology, AI and genetic engineering.

Mido & Alice

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My great uncle Mido and aunt Alice, best exemplify the paternalism that reigned in my family for centuries. I simply love their story. Mido, born Armido Mattei on September 14, 1892 in Gromignana, is the fourth child of Giovaccino Mattei and Adelasia Gristanti. Alice Mattei (b. October 10, 1910, youngest child of David Alimede Mattei and Armida Grisanti) marries Mido on February 1, 1932. Their relationship is a little complicated as Mido and Alice are my double great aunt and uncle. Mido is my grandfather in Louisville’s younger brother and Alice is my grandmother in Louisville’s younger sister. All the complexity aside, Mido leaves Gromignana at the age of 14, emigrating to America in 1906, to work for the Grisanti Statuary Company in Louisville along with many of his relatives. Alice, born four years after Mido’s departure, rarely sets foot out of Gromignana never venturing out of Italy.

Mido’s Adventure

Mido leaves Italy merely following the men in his family. He has no idea an adventure awaits him. Initially the money he earns pays his sponsor for lodging and meals and the remaining money is sent back home to support his parents and sisters. From oral history we know that while Mido came to embrace his adventure, he always longs to return to Gromignana. Work, duty and returning home become his focus. For the first 10 years in Louisville Mido works as a plaster caster for the Grisanti Statuary Co. To continue to work in America, Mido declares his intention to become a citizen, as did most others. With the support and encouragement of his older, brother Pellegrino (a huge believer in education as a means to better ones livelihood), Mido studies to become a stationary engineer, this training likely saves his life.

World War I

Like his cousin Luigi (see May 17th DM post), a declaration of citizenship made both Luigi and Mido eligible for the draft. Luigi found himself in the army, dying in France. Mido, much luckier due to his ambition and the brotherly support, found himself in Boston, MA. Compliments of the U.S. government Mido receives further training to serve on an Oiler. On the USS Murray Mido finds himself enjoying trips up and down America’s eastern seaboard, including stops in the Caribbean Islands. He returns to Louisville in 1920 a new man. For his service, Mido quickly receives U.S. citizenship. From this time until after WWII Mido continues to work and support his family back in Gromignana. He works for A&P grocery stores and then later for my grandparents, all the while traveling back and forth from Louisville to Gromignana, more than 10 trips from 1921 to 1948.

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Aunt Alice

While Mido continues his focus on earning money, Alice remains in Gromignana. With her sister, Zeffira, the two care for their parents and other elderly relatives. Later, Alice serves as an unofficial manager for the Mattei properties. Many family members from America and Australia pass through Gromignana for visits, and some return to retire. One who visits often is Mido, who becomes her husband. This may sound odd, as it is my opinion piecing together oral history, but the marriage of Mido and Alice, while it may have had a romantic side, appears to have been more a union of convenience, and even necessity, for them both. According my Uncle Dominic, the depression hit Gromignana particularly hard. Those families grew more reliant on support from family abroad. Mido, returning to Gromignana in 1929, sees Alice’s situation. Mido’s father, still living at the time, is being cared for by his sister, Rusha, and needs support.

Paternalism as Intended

While in this day and age “paternalism” gets a bad rap, back in 1930 Gromignana there is a beautiful last stand. As Lerner suggests in her book, the “sexual division of labor (as) created … was functional and approved by both men and women.” When the worldwide depression strikes, there is a cadre of young women left behind in Gromignana to care for the old. Alice, Zeffira and Rusha were just a few. And while many family members would continue to support these women from afar, for our heroine Alice, who sacrifices her life to care for others, Mido is her knight in shining armor, her hero! Now a man of the world with means, Mido returns and marries Alice. Mido is 40 and Alice is 22. Returning to Louisville shortly after their marriage, Mido continues earning money, paying into the new social security plan. In 1948, Mido retires to Gromignana with Alice living off Mido’s savings and their social security checks. Alice receives Mido’s social security for the remainder of her life, never having set foot in the U.S.

And the Rest is History

In February of 2000, my family enjoys a visit with Alice, learning a little more about their life. Apparently, Mido and Alice did find time to travel, Alice agreeing to travel only within Italy. They also become hosts to their growing family. Of all the nephews and nieces, Mido remains especially close to Pellegrino and Amerisa’s children as he lived with them at 927 Madison Avenue most of his adult life. After the death of my grandparents, my Uncle Dominic would become the family patriarch. When Mido dies in November, 1971, he assumes the responsibility of caring for Alice. Dominic also assumes ownership of the house with the proviso that he care for Alice and the property until she dies. To compensate my mother and Aunt Babe, Mido gifts them a cash equivalent.

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And Finally the Rest of the Story

Alice dies on December 15, 2000 and to the surprise and shock of everyone, a month after her death Dominic falls ill and is gone! My mother shares a dream where she sees Alice coming and taking Dominic. Sharing this dream with my cousin, Nancy, she smiles and says it may also have been a result of missing medication doses. Whatever the reason, Alice is the last close link to Gromignana. The decision to sell her house is difficult. David writes, “When dad died, my family talked about keeping Alice’s house.  At the time, many of us had small kids early in grade school.  The only time any of us could go over there would have been the summers at the height (and cost) of tourism season.  Then there was the issue of maintaining the house which was in need of repair.  We didn’t want to sell, but that was the only logical choice at the time.“

A Longing to Return and be a Hostess

I long for the opportunity to live in Gromignana or somewhere near. I have been working with my brother Joe on obtaining Italian citizenship through my maternal roots. With our paperwork complete in February we began our application. In March, due to the pandemic, the Italian Embassy shut down and is still closed. I have to wonder if my ancestors are trying to tell me something that I don’t care to hear. Even at 70 I am still determined to at least live somewhere near Gromignana once the pandemic lifts. If this ever happens is yet to be seen. If I am granted this wish, I hope to take this Delicious Memories website to this new location where I will host any DM members who would like to brave a journey into my family’s past. What a glorious adventure it may be for all of us.

Images from Mido’s Life

When Aunt Alice died and her house sold, a lot of Alice and Mido’s belongings made their way to Louisville. Since my mother had been close to both Mido and Alice, my Aunt Bernice gave my mother many of their photos and paperwork. My mother, looking through everything, found herself deeply saddened (by what exactly I am unsure as she refused to say). One afternoon while visiting she asks me to take the bundle of photos and papers. She is unable to dispose of them but wants them gone. I am so grateful to have them to share with you. I only wish that Alice or Mido would have written the names on the back of the photos. Outside of Mido and Alice the others will likely forever remain a mystery. If any in the DM community recognize any of the faces in these photos, please let me know and I will update.

Mido Across Time

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Postcards from Mido’s Training in Boston

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Mido at Sea

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Mido and the American Legion in Italy

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A favorite vacation resort for many in Gromignana is Montecatini Terme – Torretta, a resort visited by many of my ancestors. I will create a future post on this interesting vacation destination. Mido obviously enjoyed time there.

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Postcards from Various Travels

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Photos of Unknowns

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